I’m Kathy Deschenes and I’ve been a friend of Alicia’s since I started coming to First Parish around 20 years ago. Our paths crossed many times by singing in the Voices of Light chorale that went to nursing homes and assisted living facilities where Alicia shared her music to comfort others. We worked fundraisers together, she attended the grief support group Ellen and I ran, and we talked endlessly at social hour.
One night we decided to meet for dinner after realizing we never had any one-on-one time ever. So we fixed that quickly!
As we got to know each other better we began to share our journeys. We both had challenging lives and found peace in music. We both loved helping out in our Sunday school program only she had way more patience than me and worked with the little kids while I worked with the teens.
Both Alicia and I also knew what it was like to live with a chronic illness. We talked about it a great deal but the conversation always ended with one of us making a very inappropriate wisecrack and laughing at ourselves. I loved her for that.
No matter what she had going on she always always was more concerned about me. Plus she understood me in a way others may not. I felt that I could tell her anything about me and no matter how bad it was she would have never deserted me.
Her loyalty to her friends and deep understanding of human frailty —including her own — made her the least judgmental person I believe I have ever met. And I could always count on her perfectly-timed self-deprecating humor to put everything in perspective.
Her friendship was deeply meaningful to me and I will always miss our conversations that dug down deep until we found the things that really mattered.
Alicia had a brilliant mind which was obvious to anyone who knew her. But it’s her huge heart and acceptance of life’s challenges that I miss most.
Rest easy, my friend. We’ve got it from here.
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