To whoever is interested:
I don’t claim to be an expert on anything, not even myself. But here are some lessons I’ve learned (in no particular order) as I traversed my time on Earth:
Honor and learn from your past, but don’t be controlled by it. If you made a mistake, welcome to the human experience. Only boring people don’t make mistakes. Embrace your mistakes but learn from them and keep moving forward being the best person you can every day.
Be kind. I wasn’t always kind. I was more interested in being right and keeping myself safe emotionally. It wasn’t always pretty but as I aged I realized that my kindness was not a weakness but a gift to others and myself.
Love science. You can be spiritual at the same time as you can be scientific. Facts are important and, though you may lead with your heart, you should always check in with the facts in your head first.
Put real facts in your head, not talking points from people who have selfish agendas. Do your own fact-finding and make an opinion as objective as you can.
You will meet people who will use you. You might not recognize it at first and feel the fool for being duped. That’s okay. It was more important that you gave someone the benefit of the doubt. Better to be mad at yourself for being misled than it is to go through life always expecting to be used as a pawn.
Treasure friendship. It is one of life’s most beautiful gifts. Be vulnerable and let people see the real you. That is the only way to obtain any kind of intimacy in relationships. Anything else is built on fakery.
Make a difference in the lives of others. This includes both family and friends and strangers. People may never recognize or acknowledge your contribution because you did it so gracefully that they didn’t even realize it was you who improved their lives. And that’s okay.
Stretch yourself. No one ever did great things by staying in their comfort zone. Life is an adventure. Live it. I always picture myself in a wheelchair in a nursing home at the end of my life if I was faced with a challenge. Do I want to be spending my final years in regret about what I could have done had I not been afraid? What a horrible way to end a life.
Believe in yourself. Don’t let others define you. Those people get as much coffee for their three bucks at Starbucks as you do.
Love without measure. Always tell people you love them whenever you see them. You just never know when it will be the last time.
Forgive those who did the best they could with what they had. Even if they broke your heart sometimes.
Be honest without being cruel. It’s a fine line when you’re mad at someone but learning to communicate respectfully in the midst of intense emotion is probably the greatest skill you can learn in life.
Don’t get old in spirit. Always listen to new music and engage with young people. Too many old folks think the young have nothing to teach them. We were all young once with our own lessons to share. Never disrespect that. In fact, embrace it.
See people through their hearts and their actions. You will never agree 100% with anyone. But if you can find common ground and connect there, you’ll be amazed how many wonderful friends you can make. And they will challenge your way of thinking which is always a gift to me. I have had my mind changed but only if approached with love and respect.
Read. No one ever had an intelligent, meaningful existence without reading with passion.
Trust your gut. You know when something isn’t right. Speak up when you’re with people who aren’t saying kind things. You will be judged by the company you keep and the silence that you kept. You won’t convince them to change their minds, but you must always lead with moral integrity.
People are people are people. We are more the same than we are different. Don’t look for differences, look for similarities. It will make you a more empathetic person.
Sing. Even if you can’t carry a tune. There is nothing more joyful than singing.
Put your hands to work. Go dig in the dirt and plant some flowers; paint a room; learn to do hand-crafts like knitting or quilting. You aren’t fully human if you live entirely in your own head.
Lead with curiosity and wonder.
Don’t be afraid of death or growing older. It’s all part of life. There are always new things to be learned and joy to be had in every phase of your existence.
