Here's to friendship

I'm just back from my monthly dinner with friend Kathleen. We met almost 10 years ago at a really wacky company. I was only there for 2 1/2 months and we really didn't start hanging out together till my last couple of weeks there. In fact, I think our first night out was the day I was fired. Yes, I was fired. It's a great story and I'd do it all again. A blog post for another day...

When I was a kid, I used to think that having more friends was better than having a few close friends. Now I have both scenarios yet see the value in quality over quantity.

I find it comforting to have a few very close friends to whom I can trust my heart. They love me unconditionally. They stand by me no matter what I tell them. They never judge. And they are completely and lovingly honest. If I say anything even close to bullshit, Kathleen calls me on it.

I wish I could be as courageous with everyone I know. It is courage, after all, isn't it? To risk saying something that someone needs to hear and still feel that it's worth losing the friendship? Or is it being that secure in your friendship that you both know that what is said, is said out of love?

Honesty doesn't mean callousness, however. I don't want someone to take my emotions and discount them as silly. But friends like Kathleen can take my story and help me see the lesson in it. And sometimes that lesson isn't pretty. Most of the time, it is eye-opening and I am always so happy to have her perspective.
When the lesson is completely discussed, then comes the time for laughter. For without humor, a lesson becomes a lecture or a self conscious moment. Humor gives you perspective and an ability to laugh at your humanness.

I think that's a friend's greatest gift. Helping you to take your life moments and turn them into pearls of wisdom. Then laughing with you when you realize that it is just one moment in your life that doesn't define you.

And when that's done, she orders chocolate bread pudding with whipped cream and nuts - with two spoons.