Lessons from a spaniel

My friend Gretchen who has taken in many more rescued dogs than us, tells me that every dog comes into your life to teach you something. It's been a week since I added my last post. And it's taken me that long to think through all that my dog Alex taught me while he was with us.

Before I can express what he did for me, you'll need at least a Reader's Digest version of his story.

Alex was the first foster dog I took in when I volunteered for Springer Spaniel Rescue. We flunked Fostering 101 miserably when we could not let him go after having him for a few weeks, and promptly adopted him ourselves. We had Brittany, our younger Springer, for over a year when Alex joined us and they were instant friends.  

Alex was 6 when we brought him home, and extremely overweight - a good 40 pounds which is a lot on a 55-pound frame. He had a heart murmur and seriously dysplasic, arthritic hips not helped at all by his weight. Ron worked on the exercise and I worked on the diet. After about 1.5 years, he was where he needed to be and the heart murmur was gone. I started him with a pet massage therapist and we completely avoided hip surgery for him. He was a happy, silly, lovebug.

His health was pretty good for a few years until he developed severe anxiety. So years ago, I took him to see the dog behavior god, Nick Dodman at Tufts. After a ton of tests and more conferences with all vets involved, we finally got the meds right and Alex's anxiety improved significantly. He seemed to be back to his old self for a couple of years.

Then the attacks began. First we thought it was vestibular disease, but after several episodes happened over almost 2 years (with a severe episode in October 2009 that he never really recovered from), our vet advised us to take him to a neurologist. We got word then that Alex likely had a brain tumor and not much time left.

We kept him as comfortable as we could while also dealing with his increasing anxiety again. Now we realized that the anxiety was likely caused by the slow-growing brain tumor all these years. When Alex started losing control of his bladder last week, we knew it was time to ask the vet to come to the house. He died at home on his favorite spot on the couch surrounded by love.

So what did this entire 8+ year journey teach me?

• Never ever give up on someone you love. They would do the same for you.
• Patience is a virtue I never thought I would have but found so much of it in Alex's final months with us.
• Go with your gut. Alex was a ton of work but so many of the decisions I made about his care (some for the first time) were spot on.
• I can handle much more stress than I ever imagined if it means a loved one is getting the help they need to get through a tough time.
• Death is not to be feared but accepted as a part of life.
• My husband is a strong, sensitive, and kind man. Okay, I already knew that one but I didn't know just how much until now.
• Marriages are made stronger by sharing the load and getting each other through unbearable sadness.
• Dogs never leave you.

Ron and I have both found ourselves lurking around the NE Springer Spaniel Rescue website this week. We still have two spaniels here, and have no intention of boosting the pack up to three dogs again. But it's funny how your heart makes room.

When I was the membership coordinator for Springer Rescue, I used to tell all the new recruits that the only way to do rescue work well was to do it with all your heart. Even if that meant it got broken sometimes. A broken heart was okay. It meant you were perfect for the job.

Rest in peace, sweet Alex. Thank you for the lessons.