Friday, April 9, 2010

Space?

No, not that kind of space - the new-frontiers type of space. I'm talking about space as it relates to allowable, personal, comfortable space between strangers. As I was walking into the post office today, a man was ahead of me by quite a few steps. He opened the door, looked around to see if anyone was behind him, saw me, smiled and let the door close behind him. I wasn't on his heels by any means so was not offended. But I thought that I would have held the door for him had he been as far away as I was.

One of my high school classes did an exercise in personal space. Two random students stood at the front of the class and the teacher had one of us move closer to the other student, one small step at a time. The student who was being approached had to say "Stop" when they started to feel uncomfortable.

It was an interesting exercise. One that I never forgot. Every person had their own personal space requirements. Some kids never said "Stop" and were fine having other students breathing down on them - even if they weren't friends. Some said "Stop" after the first step.

Not sure if my fellow post office customer was doing the personal space test or not. Maybe he felt funny holding the door for someone who was so far away from him. Or maybe he thought it would be an awkward waiting period. Maybe he didn't want me to feel that I had to run so that he wasn't left holding the door for a long time. Who knows.

Got me wondering, though, about etiquette between strangers. And not a gender-specific etiquette. I don't think men are more required (is that grammatically correct?) than women to hold doors for others.

What do you do in a situation like this? How long would you have heald the door and why? The comments feature is enabled. Jump in anytime!

2 comments:

  1. Personally, I love when humans 'connect'. I always hold the door if someone is reasonably close behind me. (or often apologize if I'm rushing and let it go too soon - it surprises me that they are puzzled about why I'm apologizing). If someone holds the door for me, it makes me smile and saying thank you makes them smile (usually LOL). Where else is so much goodwill generated by so little effort? A small thing that can set the tone for the rest of the day. If a child holds the door, it's especially important to reinforce that kind gesture - "that was so nice of you, thanks!" (man, those smiles are worth the effort!) and they are learning a positive human behavior. It's all about connnections, eh? or even more importantly, about respect. (another interesting topic?)

    I promise not to start the rant on the human race walking around 'attached' to iPods or cellphones and seeing nothing of the live world around them. Let me say that in my humble opinion we're not doing the human race any favors by encouraging this in our children.

    At the risk of being seen as goody-two-shoes, I will admit to also being snarky enough to say "you're welcome" to a few oblivious souls who forget to say thank you (with a smile of course, because, I love confusing them). After all, it's my duty to whip the human race into shape ;o)

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  2. I'm a door holder! I maybe a cynical, feral cat but I do hold doors open whenever possible. Good karma and people really do appreciate that you took those few extra seconds out of your life for a stranger.

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